I can’t believe that Caleb and I just celebrated our 20-year anniversary! While I’m not sure how all that time disappeared so quickly, I am certain that we have been on quite a journey. As with any journey, the journey of marriage has many twists and turns, and you don’t just suddenly “arrive”. All healthy relationships take effort and investment.
During our time away, we were able to reflect on what we wish we had really understood early on. So here it is – Caleb & Rachel’s Top 10 marriage tips from the past 20 years (in no particular order):
- Not only do you choose each other the day you get married, you have to continue to choose each other every day after that.
- Keep a sense of humor. Life doesn’t always have to be super serious. Laugh together.
- Give each other space to have bad days. Nobody is perfect all the time. Be patient when one of you is having an off moment, day or week.
- Create shared experiences. Carve out time to enjoy each other and invest in each other.
- Learn and speak each other’s love languages.
- Be courteous and respectful. Sometimes we forget to do this with the people closest to us.
- Think before you speak. How would you want someone to speak to you? No need to exaggerate to make a point.
- Speak-up. Don’t expect your spouse to just know what you want or what you like without saying anything.
- Make it your priority to love them more than anyone else has ever loved them. Be their number one fan. Celebrate them.
- Some things get better with age – intimacy is one of them. So keep at it!